Being understood is just as difficult as understanding.
What we forget is that, despite the varying degrees of separation between each human, we are wholly different beasts in this journey called life. This alone is grounds for communication issues, misunderstanding, judgment and distaste. Because we all think differently, and take pride in ourselves, we tend to shift towards the idea that our way is the only way, that the street to bliss is paved with one path and no other.
Hogwash.
One man’s path is another man’s disaster, and if we fail to recognize the differences in each other, we will fail to coexist as humans. What looks completely insane to one man might be completely normal for another. Much of this comes from a differing value system, whether it be monetary, religious, or any of the other means with which to govern one’s life. These differences make it difficult for us to understand, to empathize, with others as they make their own push for happiness during these blessed lifetimes we are bestowed upon from the moment we pop out of the womb into this flawed existence.
I’m not perfect, nor could anything I do be considered “by the book.” It’s not planned that way, but simply by design thanks to the genetic and emotional DNA given to me at birth and over the scope and span of my lifetime as it stands today.
Therein sits the struggle.
The closest of friends question motives, question decision-making and – in essence – question me, and I have a hard time with this. My heart is not an object up for auction or review. It is mine and mine alone, and true friendship understands that, while you may not UNDERSTAND the decisions I make, you TRUST that I making them with the purest of intentions in mind. There is more than one way to skin a cat, as my pappy always used to say (sorry PETA, but it’s a stellar analogy). Every path taken, even decision making, is based on the idea that I am doing my best with what I have been given.
Sometimes, it is in our nature to misunderstand the decision making of others because we fail to see this wonderful world from their eyes. I can’t see life through the eyes of a money-loving businessman, yet in judging, I fail to recognize that this “love” of money might not be what it seems. Perhaps it’s simply a means to provide for his family. Again, failure to empathize with another member of this global community we engage on a daily basis shifts my understanding to judgment instead of faith.
What sits at the core of this problem is a need to understand, instead of trust, others. We’ve gone so far from trust to become suspicious animals that are always waiting for the other shoe to drop in relationships because we’ve failed to flush the past. Been burned once? Well, never again. This sad shift from trust in civilization has created a society that is destined to continue shifting so far away from each other that common relationships will be based more on like-thinking instead of towards finding people you care about in life no matter the differences you have.
Friendships are valuable when permitted to blossom, but when one party believes they are better than another, when they question the decisions made by the other, it tends to become a one-sided and arrogant existence. It’s a symbiotic relationship in that we give in one area and receive in the other. One may be wise in mathematics but the other in grammar but who’s to say which of the two are better? Neither, of course, but the mathematic believes in numbers while the writer sees only from an aesthetic point of view. The numbers man judges the word lover for not being more linear while the writer judges the numbers man for being too logical without accounting for human emotion. Both could add depth to the other if they worked together in give and take.
It’s analog vs. digital. Vinyl vs. MP3. Power vs. Finesse.
Finding that common trust in friendships, and in society as a whole, should be the quest for every man. Agreeing to disagree, but trusting the others motives is tough yet productive. Having faith in your friends regardless of your understanding is the true test of love, no matter the circumstance, and if you can’t trust in them, you fail yourself as a friend. At some point, you have to believe the pilot flying the plane knows where they’re going while you sit in coach en route to this untold destination, letting go of that internal struggle to always be in control.
Let them navigate with your support and trust, not judgment because, in the end, and in life, nobody enjoys a back seat driver…
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