Over time, those three words have healed the brokenhearted and, at the same time, lured innocent people to their death. Life sees no bigger lie than a disingenuous verbal promise of true love and feels no bigger a betrayal than to hear them and see actions indicating the obvious. Loyalty misused, taken for granted and thrown to the wind as casually as a tissue, can destroy faith and shatter the foundation of one's outlook in this world.
It is in our DNA as humans to yearn for love from others, but love unrequited is as painful as any dagger through the stomach. Giving one's heart to another, only to have it shattered, trampled and mishandled in return, makes it difficult for someone to ever feel the need to totally take that chance again. Women blame the "playas" but fail to realize that these "playas" are the direct result of previous women who have destroyed the man's faith in love. Then, the man's direct lack of faith in love leads him to mistreat a woman, who then fails to grasp the concept of true love and creates the world's next "playa."
It's a vicious cycle that spins throughout time and dooms humanity to a constantly waging war based on searching for something that quite possibly doesn't exist. Love at first sight? Lifelong love? All subjected to the fallibility of human nature, thus making them less efficient than the brakes of a recalled Toyota. We say we'll love someone until the day we die yet we find our actions completely contradicting the words that spew from our mouths.
Is true love dead? Perhaps, but commitment to it shouldn't be. Far too long, we've glamorized this idea as a reality. As far back as Greek mythology, Shakespeare, or vintage cinema, we're trained from birth to see love as something that comes once in a lifetime and then is as fleeting as the changing seasons...but in reality, love comes and goes (much like the flu) before another bout approaches. Sometimes it comes in bunches and sometimes over an expanded period of time but it always leaves us wondering if this time will the the "last time."
We fight for it, kicking and screaming, praying that this "last chance" doesn't end but, as the tears fall like rain for love lost, our hearts seemingly find love again. We find it in other things at first, but then slowly, it recognizes another human's need for love and acceptance as well, drawing us to another potential "last chance." While there are no guarantees in life, we can almost always expect love to find us again. A broken heart heals itself over time — hurt, anger, bitterness, optimism and then rebirth, and the cycle it takes is unreliable in its predictability. It could take days, maybe weeks or even years, but — rest assured — it will heal eventually.
Watching others love and seeing others find it also makes it tough on the brokenhearted. Deep down, we are happy for our friends but on the surface, we feel a sense of bitterness and unnecessary resentment. For those who are brokenhearted, it is a lie to say this feeling hasn't passed through the surface of your feelings a time or two, but in the end, you realize that it is the hurt lashing out and you can finally exorcise them into oblivion.
Plenty of other fish in the sea? Don't give me that bull. You'll find another? Suck it. All we brokenhearted need are friends to let us vent, hear us out, allow us to verbalize and then we can find solace in having said our peace. Any advice rings hollow to the ears of a broken man, and it only adds fuel to the resentment. It is better to listen in these moments, allowing the venom to run its course before simply acknowledging your love for us.
Am I done with love? Probably not, but the idea of it sickens me right now. God never gives us more than we can handle in life, but this whole package feels like a little bit of overkill. Like ripping a Band-Aid off quickly, life in my world brings major collapses followed by long periods of clear sailing. Nothing ever comes in individual packages but in industrial-sized calamity. If my life was compared to a grocery store, I'd be Costco, not Wal-Mart...one big moment of struggle followed by relative peace for a time.
I'm not a negative person by nature but moments like these surely make being an optimist a struggle. Those who know me know this. I am a Cubs fan by nature and by heart, but occasionally, Mr. Ra-Ra needs a cheer as well. For now, I'll strap up my laces, keep my chin up, spend some time in the Word and simply allow God to heal me as He sees fit, taking into consideration that it's always darkest before the dawn...
Well written, Kev. And we've all been there...at least I hope we have. It'd would be pretty sad to live life and not know what it's like to lose. Makes winning that much cooler.
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